If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you will agree with me that it’s not always a stable experience. A relationship is basically a process that is filled with ups and downs… and downs and ups. But these ups and downs are natural. However, there are extremes to this, and today we’ll look at some of the warning signs you are growing apart in your relationship.
Every relationship starts off pretty cool. There’s lots of sparks and excitement. And there’s this enthusiasm that is fueled by passion between the couple. It’s understandable because, at the initial stages, many things are YET to be discovered; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
When you eventually discover most aspects of the relationship, things might begin to get increasingly boring. That’s when you will notice that your partner snores a lot. Or that she nags, or that he talks too much…
Well, this is completely normal. But if left unchecked, it could result in you and your partner growing further apart. Now, be attentive; whenever it seems things are getting too boring, it’s important for couples to put in a little hard work in order to sustain the relationship.
After all, a relationship (like marriage) is more of a responsibility than just a romance. You and your partner are meant to be responsible for each other. And as such, you should sacrifice, compromise, and accommodate each other’s lapses.
Nobody is perfect, right?
Signs you are growing apart
Now, since you can’t possibly escape the thorny part of a relationship, and since the troubles (that can throw your relationship apart) will surely resurface at times, why not look for the signs and detect the danger earlier?
Such awareness will help you know exactly when to swing into action in order to save the relationship from further damage.
With that said, I will be highlighting 10 signs you are growing apart in your relationship or marriage to help you detect and diagnose the problem before it gets out of hand.
But then, why is it so important to pay attention to the signs? There are certain behavioral changes that can serve as indicators that you and your partner are growing apart. Paying attention to those signs will give you an upper hand against any issue that might pose a threat to your relationship.
It ensures you take proactive measures that will help you salvage the situation early enough. Now, let’s dive right into these signs you are growing apart!
1. You Hardly Pay Attention
One way most couples display affection is by paying attention to each other. Attentiveness gives you the opportunity to observe your partner and understand them better. An attentive partner knows when their better half is worried… when they’re happy or sad… when they are tense or troubled… even when they’re sick.
This is because such an attentive partner cares enough to show interest in what’s going on with their significant other. With proper attention, it could get to a point where your spouse wouldn’t have to say a word before you know exactly what they want at any given time.
However, that moment when you are with your partner, and you no longer bother to pay attention – but prefer to focus on your phone or the TV all day – then it’s a sign you are growing apart.
2. You No Longer Do Favors
Another key sign you’re growing apart in your relationship is when you no longer go out of your way to do any favors for your partner, or vice versa.
For instance, during the initial stages of the relationship, you can recall how you usually go out of your way to show some kindness to your partner. No matter how busy you were, you created time for them, no matter how engaged you were at the office, you came back early to do the laundry. Remember, you used to buy your partner gifts – even when you didn’t have much.
Now, what went wrong? Why is it that you no longer go out of your way to exhibit some little acts of kindness? Or why is it that you no longer care to do whatever favors for them? Why do you no longer see the need to compromise?
It’s simple, you are growing apart! And honestly, you should be concerned about this sort of attitudinal shift between you and your partner.
3. You Always Disagree
This is another related cause for concern… when you are always on a different page with your partner!
Sure, it’s normal for couples to disagree at times. After all, they are actually two individuals with different backgrounds and experiences. So, opinions are bound to differ from time to time. But then, when you are ALWAYS in disagreement with your “boo” – even when it’s not necessary – then something is wrong.
It’s a clear sign that you are growing apart.
Let’s say, during any random couple’s conversation, you and your partner tend to always argue from different points of view, it simply doesn’t tell well. And just so you know, in such situations, if you don’t evaluate the usual cause(s) for the arguments, soon, things might get a little messy.
4. You Prefer Spending Time Away From Them
If you’ve been in a relationship with your partner for quite a while, then you may be familiar with this feeling. At some point, it feels too boring staying home with your spouse… You just feel this urge to step out and have some fun with friends and family.
While this is not bad per se, it becomes more and more discomforting if it becomes the new order of the day.
If you always feel like you’d rather spend some time with other people (and not your partner), it implies the spark is gone. You have to act swiftly to rekindle that fire that used to be there – that passion and drive, that enthusiasm that used to be between the two of you!
To bring back the spark that used to exist in the relationship, you and your partner should try out new things. The actual reason you no longer enjoy each other’s company may just be because you repeat the same thing over and over again. Such repetition results in utter boredom.
Therefore, try out stuff you never did before… Go on trips, go on adventures, visit the beach or the park, or even move to another city (yeah, go crazy).
When you notice you no longer enjoy your partner’s company, and you fail to take the necessary measures on time, there is a tendency that you both might drift further apart till the situation becomes irreconcilable.
5. The Physical Intimacy Seems To Be Gone
This is often one of the earliest warning signs you are growing apart in your relationship.
One of the reasons for any romantic relationship is to satisfy the need for physical intimacy. The level of physical intimacy between partners goes a long way to suggest if they are still close or if they are growing apart.
For instance, when you no longer feel the desire to kiss your partner or cuddle with them during a cold, rainy night… well, well, it is a sign you are growing apart.
You have to find out why your partner suddenly doesn’t attract you or vice versa and fix the problem before it gets too bad.
6. The Emotional Intimacy Is No Longer There
Apart from physical intimacy, another form of intimacy that is crucial between couples is that which is emotionally triggered. Husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends all need some sort of emotional support from their partners.
You’ve got to be there for your spouse when they’re emotionally down. That’s part of your responsibilities as their partner.
At work, or during the course of the day, different things might happen and in the end, you or your partner might be feeling bad. Now, if you two are emotionally disconnected, it will be difficult to open up to each other… you’ll find it hard to count on each other to ease certain emotional burdens.
And yes, it’s a sign you are growing apart if such emotional intimacy ceases to exist.
7. Trust Issues
Quick question, does it make any sense to be in a relationship where there is no trust?
The fact is, whether it’s a romantic relationship or a business relationship, as long as it has to do with the word relationship, then there must be trust. It’s as simple as that.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you and your partner couldn’t trust each other? How did it feel?
It’s really not a great feeling – it can leave you feeling like being alone in the middle of the wilderness. The issue with a lack of trust is that you won’t ever be comfortable with your partner, neither will your partner be comfortable around you. Both of you will easily clash and fight… the synergy will easily be gone.
Distrust mainly manifests once you realize that you hardly believe whatever your partner has to say. You simply tag it as a lie.
Another evidence of mistrust is when you feel very disturbed to have your partner go on a trip alone. Or when you don’t feel okay with your partner hanging out with friends. Or even when you are not cool with your partner associating with the opposite sex!
As a matter of fact, when there is no trust in a relationship or marriage, the partners will always suspect each other. They will doubt any move they make. And will always have issues over frivolous things that should ordinarily be neglected.
So, if you are in a “trustless” relationship, it’s high time you realize that it’s a sign you are growing apart.
8. You No Longer Communicate
Another major sign you are growing apart is when there is little or no communication in the relationship. I mean, what’s the point of being in a relationship if the couple find it hard to communicate frequently?
Simply put, where there is no communication, there is no relationship. The only way an issue (between partners) can be resolved is when they create time to talk. Without communication, mountains will always be made out of molehills.
This is because you and your partner are bound to misunderstand each other if you don’t communicate when it matters.
A relationship without communication is like an expatriate without an interpreter/translator. The same way an expatriate (without a translator) will never understand the bizarre language of his host country, that’s how you and your partner will always misunderstand each other without effective communication.
It does no harm to talk to your partner. Call them regularly, check up on them, text them, find out why they are moody, and understand why they are happy.
Moreover, whenever you have a fight, create a good time to TALK! Communication matters so much in any relationship.
9. You Have Other “Best Friends”
The BEST best friend you should actually have is your partner. The moment you start having another best friend who is above your partner, you’re already drifting apart.
It’s not entirely bad to have a best friend other than your partner, but think about it. You should be much closer to your lover than anybody else! This is the one person who should know everything about you, flaws and all.
10. You Keep Secrets From Each Other
Like I just said, lovers are meant to be best friends. And you know, best friends don’t keep secrets from each other, right?
Your partner should be your go-tell person. They should be your gossip mate. And you shouldn’t hide things from them, neither should they feel the need to hide things from you.
If you are uncomfortable with opening up to your partner, especially when it involves secrets, it means you and your partner are not close enough. And it’s a bad sign.
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At this point, it should be clear to you that a relationship is typically not a smooth journey… it can even be compared to a rollercoaster ride.
And the only way you can adapt to the up-and-down nature of any relationship is by being proactive. Take the necessary steps to detect bad signs early and deal with the problem before it aggravates.
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