One thing most people desire in a relationship is “understanding”. We basically want our perspectives to be understood. I mean, who doesn’t want to be listened to or heard? Today we’ll share some tips for you to understand your partner better and take your relationship to the next level.
An average man or woman wants a partner who would look at them and say, “Yes babe, I’ve got you. I really understand you. I can relate to how you feel. We’re in this together. You can count on me…” Such words are so soothing!
Understanding is quite important in any relationship for different reasons. The level of understanding you share with your partner will go a long way to determine how long and successful your relationship will be.
With understanding, there will be mutual appreciation and respect between you and your partner. You can both express yourselves knowing fully well that you are well protected and have little to nothing to worry about.
This feeling will bring about more emotional attraction and consequently, the bond will be more intimate.
When you understand your partner, you will always see things from their perspective. You will easily figure out why they behave in a certain way at a certain time. In fact, you will easily predict their next move and you’ll know exactly what they need at any given point in time.
The issue now is, how do you understand your partner better?
Well, that brings us to our focus for today. If you’ve been seeking how to understand your partner better in order to create more intimacy with them, be rest assured that you’re on the right page!
Here’s how to understand your partner:
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1. Take Your Time To Know Them Better
Understanding your partner can actually be very difficult, given the fact that they’re different individuals with different emotions and feelings.
In order to truly understand a different individual who happens to be your partner, you have to know their strengths and weaknesses, their joy, sadness, fears, and so on.
How do you get to know all these?
Well, the basic thing to do remains dedicating some time to study your partner. It might take a couple of months or even years… But the fact is that you’ll eventually get to know them better if you are intentional about it.
2. Understand Yourself First
Whatever you wish for in life begins with you. You know the popular saying; you get what you give. You just can’t understand another person if you find it difficult to understand yourself.
Remember, we all want to be treated fairly. Therefore, understanding what you want and how you want to be treated will give you a clue on how to treat your partner.
Now, ask yourself; What do I want? How do I want to be treated? What does justice mean to me? What infuriates me? What gladdens me?
If you understand yourself to the level of providing accurate answers to such questions, you will most likely understand your partner too. After all, we all want pretty much the same thing; happiness, care, and love (and maybe some good chicken here and there).
3. Never Impose Your Ideals On Them
If you intend to learn how to understand your partner better, you have to start by not imposing what you deem right on them.
One thing about us humans is that our ideas, thoughts, and perspectives are all subjective. We have our peculiarities and uniqueness. Hence, our ideologies are bound to differ.
For that reason, you should respect your partner’s disparities. Because sometimes, their opinion might not match with yours.
No matter how much you feel you are more versed in maturity, or experience, don’t just make your ideals superior to your partner’s. Doing so will blind you towards their reality. As a result, you won’t know how they truly feel.
4. Remember, You Are Not Always Right
One of the toxic factors that kill relationships way too fast is this mentality of who’s right or wrong.
Once you find yourself in the position where you don’t care to listen to what your partner has to say simply because you BELIEVE you’re right, then you can’t call yourself an understanding partner.
You should be willing to listen to your partner because they may be right after all. Who knows, you might be the totally wrong one.
Actually, it’s very toxic to be in a relationship where one party is always WRONG, while the other is Mr. or Mrs. RIGHT. Nobody wants to end up with such a partner.
5. How Often Do You Compromise?
At times, you have to make sacrifices in order to find a common ground. A lot of forgiveness will go in. A lot of kindness as well. That’s what makes you an understanding partner.
Finding a common ground is very vital for any relationship. That’s what compromise is all about.
Like I said earlier, for the fact that you and your partner are two different individuals, there will be a clash of conflicting interests at times. Now, how do you resolve such issues?
The easiest way is by compromising.
When you both compromise, you’ll get to that point where it becomes a win-win situation. Or worst-case scenario, a lenient win-lose situation.
6. Listen To Your Partner Before You React
Of course, everyone wants to be heard. So, why not listen to your partner?
I’m sure you can relate with how painful it is to be accused. Especially when you’re not given the freedom to at least express yourself. That’s exactly how your partner feels when you don’t ever listen to them before reacting!
To truly understand your partner; how they feel, why they behave in a certain way, why they’re moody, why they’re happy, why they are aggressive, why they are indifferent… Just pay attention. Always listen!
That moment you feel like your partner did something terribly bad, and you’re probably upset, don’t be too quick to react. Just listen to what they’ve got to say first. Who knows, perhaps there is a good explanation for their actions. Or maybe there is a mistake somewhere. It’s always safer to listen first.
7. Always Go For Kindness Instead Of Anger
It’s not easy to forgive and forget, but then if you really want to, you can choose to be kind, no matter how bad you feel.
Now, let’s assume that your partner was wrong beyond any reasonable doubt. Sure, you have every right to be annoyed.
But as an understanding partner, you don’t have to let that anger get the best of you. Instead, you have to show some kindness.
Anger, of course, is a normal response to social mistreatment, but then if you fail to keep your anger in check, you might end up making things worse. To avoid this, you should only react to any issue you have with your partner when you’re in a lighter mood.
8. Help Your Partner Learn From Their Mistakes
Instead of going all out to criticize your partner, why not teach them how to do it right?
A relationship should be all about mutual support. And there is no better way to support your partner than to help them learn from their mistakes. You don’t have to be a habitual critique.
It’s actually possible your partner is already feeling bad. They probably wish they could undo what they’ve already done. So, don’t aggravate the whole issue.
All you’ve got to do as a person who understands your partner is to help them get better. Help them to heal. Above all, be there for them.
9. Encourage Your Partner to Be More Open
The truth is that the level of understanding that exists between you and your partner is directly related to how open you are to each other. In other words, the understanding between you and your partner is determined by how much you share with one another.
When you are willing to share your innermost thoughts with your partner, when you decide to be vulnerable before them, then they will be able to access your reality. That’s when they will meet the real you.
10. Be There For Them
A very important reason for relationships is arguably for companionship. I mean, who doesn’t want great company? Who doesn’t want to be loved?
We all want someone who is right there when we need them. Someone who will give us the support we need when we’re emotionally down.
If you ask me how to understand your partner, I’d tell you to stick around. Always be there for them. Let your availability be unquestionable. Make them realize that you’ve got them. Assure them that you two are in this together. Surely, it won’t be long before the intimacy grows deeper!
At this point, you will agree with me that understanding your partner is not easy (at all). It requires lots of sacrifices and compromise. Heck, a whole lot of humility too. But once you and your partner are able to understand yourselves, your relationship will be filled with more bliss than you thought possible.