If you’ve been seeing a guy for some time, but you haven’t settled on being exclusive yet, chances are you’re wondering how to get him to commit to a serious relationship.
There have been lots of success stories about relationships. But also, so many sad tales have been told.
Relationships often occur when two people connect; mostly romantically, and then, it grows from there. Although relationships are typical examples of a rollercoaster ride, along the line, some scale through to the next level (marriage). However, sometimes, relationships don’t make it to that next stage.
The main reason some relationships don’t make it to the marital level is because of zero commitment. Where commitment thrives, no matter the ups and downs, the partners must find a way to scale through.
There are times you might be frustrated with your relationship. This is because you are dealing with another human, so it’s pretty normal for it to get difficult at times.
For women, it’s not too difficult to start a relationship with a man. It only becomes difficult when the question of commitment arises. It’s fairly difficult to get many men to commit to a relationship.
How to get him to commit
Typically, men can easily be attracted, it takes little effort to get their attention. But then how long do you keep him coming after you? How long can you make him interested in you? That’s where it becomes more of a hard nut to crack!
The truth is, most of us prefer a blissful relationship that will simply end in marriage. We yearn to be with a partner who will be ours and ours alone. And as a woman, you definitely want to be his one and only. If so, then you need to get him to commit.
But then, are you willing to make the necessary sacrifices? Because commitment doesn’t just happen. There are some steps you need to take to trigger such a commitment. And if you can adopt the following strategies, you will be amazed at how possible it will be to get your dream man all for yourself.
1. Don’t Be Desperate
Being desperate is one thing you should shun, not only in your relationship but in your entire social life! It is quite toxic.
If you want to get him to commit, you might actually be tempted to get too ambitious about it. In that case, your action will depict that you really want him way more than he wants you. That’s a very bad idea!
When you seemingly beg for love; when it appears like you are desperately in need of his love, you are only chasing him away from you. As a matter of great urgency, you have to retract those steps… Stop, watch, and be a little calmer.
Instead of acting desperate, give him a thousand reasons why he shouldn’t look elsewhere. Give him a reason to be the chaser and relax while he chases. As a woman, you can pull that stunt. But how?
First, you should try to sit back and…
- Let him be the first to call you after a date with him
- Have him be the person to suggest a meeting place (if his suggestion doesn’t go down well with you, simply object without fear of displeasing him)
- Let him seek for your time and please be available but not always. It’s understandable that this might be difficult, given the fact that you are really into him, but that’s part of the little sacrifices you must make to get him to commit.
It may seem great to spend all your spare time with the love of your life, but that’s not the best move if you want him to want you more. You don’t have to be too easy for him to access.
You can also spend more time with friends and family. Get a little busier and have little time to spare. This will definitely make him miss you and he will yearn to have more of those few lovely moments you spend together.
However, it’s not advisable to overdo this, you have to create a limit to it. If you stretch your unavailability too far, it may be counterproductive. He may simply get pissed. Let there be a balance to it!
2. Let The Rules Be Clear
It might sound awkward to suggest that relationships should have rules. You may be wondering when did a relationship become a math problem where rules and formulas are required.
But the truth remains that commitment and rules are like a coin of different sides. For you to really be intentional about your acts (just like getting committed), there should be rules to guide you. There is every tendency that your man will truly commit if he understands that there are things he can do and things he cannot do (or he will be at a risk of losing you).
As a woman who plays her own part to keep to her man’s rules, a man will typically be wary of breaking your rules too. He will be COMMITTED to doing things the right way.
Now, let the rules be realistic and attainable. Don’t forget that. You shouldn’t just set a selfish rule or a very callous standard and expect him to abide by it just to be with you. For example, making it a rule that your partner will not hang out with his friends or go about his recreational sporting activities is unnecessary. Such rules will backfire.
However, if for instance, your rule is that once he cheats on you, it’s over, then it’s very necessary and acceptable.
Rules are simply necessary so that neither of you will just do whatever you like. It’s necessary to curtail his excesses and make him more committed to the relationship.
3. Be A Lovely Partner
You simply can’t get what you don’t give. Karma says so. The universe says so. I say so. (But it’s probably safer to listen to Karma.) Many times, we women want the very best partner but in many cases, we are not what we want.
Remember, we are talking about commitment. Therefore, in this case, we are talking about a long-term relationship (possibly marriage). So, you have to be a good life-partner if you want a life-commitment from him.
Unfortunately, many women are simply hell-bent on demanding the best, but they are not so eager to improve. Before you can have the right to demand the best, you have to be the best. To ascertain if you are right to desire commitment from your partner, first, ask yourself if you’d like to commit to someone like you, if you were a man.
If your answer to that question is aye, then you should keep it up on being a lovely partner. But if it is nay, then you have to make amends. It’s only when you make such amendments and improvements that you can make him commit to a serious relationship.
No man would way to get tied down to a woman who isn’t lovely. Just the same way women desire to be taken care of, men want the same. Surprising him with gifts at times isn’t bad, you know.
Appreciating his kindness or generosity is a sure way to be a nice partner. Also, when you always put a smile on his face, you are simply giving him reasons to realize that his world is better if you play a role in it.
You can’t cheat on him or nag all day and expect him to commit to such a relationship. That’s a no-no!
4. Be There For Him
Yes, this is another way to make him want you every day. You have to be there for him. Make him feel like he can always depend on you. Typically, an average man wouldn’t care for your financial support, but, you see, EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, is very important to most men.
It’s vital that you are always there for him when he’s emotionally down. Of course, there are times like that. And if he can count on you in those critical moments, then he won’t be in a haste to leave you. He will find you irreplaceable.
5. Don’t Demand Too Much
Actually, nobody wants to be around someone who is overly demanding. Yes, nobody, not even the happiest or richest man likes that. It is simply a negative vibe. Now, this is one hell of a mistake many women make in relationships. Especially when they are too desperate to get him to commit in the relationship.
In this case, their expectations rise way above normal. They want everything to happen just too fast. And they want the man to behave in a certain way. Consequently, whatever he does won’t be okay for them.
That’s a bad move. It won’t end well, I can only assure you. You have to tread cautiously. Sure, you have every right to expect and demand, but you shouldn’t overdo things. You shouldn’t always want him to do it all for you. There are times you should take charge of things, especially when it concerns you.
The truth is, men enjoy being in control but it can still get boring when it becomes all about him all the time.
Having said that, if you are the type that keeps demanding from him, no matter how much he tries to treat you right — be it money, attention or time — you need to stop. Many men find that very disgusting. And unfortunately, many women are culprits.
Men admire independent women (as a matter of fact). A lot of men are attracted to women who can take full responsibility for themselves when they’re not available.
However, this does not mean you should become overly independent, else you will make it look as if you don’t really need a man in your life. That’s why the principle of balance is very important in relationships.
6. Avoid Doing It All For Him
Okay, it’s understandable you want to help him out. It’s cool that you want to be there for him, but it shouldn’t be about everything. There are certain things you should avoid doing for him and there are certain times you should intentionally say NO.
Doing everything for him will spoil him, just like a pampered child. Just as children need discipline, men need it too. That sounds weird, right? But it’s true!
As a help-mate, you can cook for him and help him declutter at times; but you should let him do these things by himself too. Well, this is not to say you shouldn’t wash his clothes for him or help him clean. It depends on what task you decide to do for him, just don’t do all his tasks for him!
7. Allow Him Play A Role In Your Life
Also remember, you shouldn’t be the one always doing stuff for him. He can actually help you out in some of your tasks. After all, men enjoy playing the role of a hero. At times, let him help you out with stuff; let him be your hero!
When you allow your man to take charge of certain things around the house (simply because he’s the man), he will feel very useful and responsible. It boosts his confidence. He feels more like a man when he’s around you. That alone can give him a reason to stick around.
8. Be Romantic
This might be coming last on the list, but it’s not the least you should consider. You have to be romantic. Well, don’t eagerly act romantic to please him, but let it come out of you naturally. It works like magic.
Get intimate with him in your own very unique way. Show him how pure your love and passion are. Nothing is more interesting in a relationship than being with a romantic partner. In case you don’t know, this particular factor is relevant enough to get him to commit fully!
Now that you have acquainted yourself with the rare tips on how to get him to commit to that relationship, it’s left for you to implement what you’ve learned so far. However, no matter what you do, try not to force it. Take it smoothly. Give it time and watch how well things will play out.
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