Here’s a fun fact! According to an online survey, looking for signs he is falling in love with you happens to be among the top 10 things women look up online. Hehe, maybe we should ease up on that a bit because when it comes to matters of the heart with men, things can be a little bit tricky. But guess what? They are not as complicated and hard to understand as we think they are.
Nonetheless, it often happens that the ones who appear to be in love with you are the Casanovas. Now the issue is, how do you distinguish between a Casanova and someone who’s down for you?
The thing about most women is that they look out for a man who’ll just show up, say the magic words to them, sweep them of their feet with payments of bills, loads of random gifts and a luxurious holiday in Hawaii, propose with a diamond ring, have a fancy wedding and they’ll live happily ever after.
Now, there’s nothing bad about wanting good things but guess what? That’s how ladies fall victim to the bad apples. Sometimes, our expectations can be so high that we become blinded by the facade a player brings.
Picture this; a tall, dark and handsome guy (I don’t know why this is the ideal man because some women actually prefer shorter guys, shocking, but true!), perfect white teeth and sexy smile, smells good all the time (important), deep voice, and to top it off, he’s absolutely romantic! This guy seems like the perfect guy, perhaps even “The one.” He appears to care about you a lot, tells you sweet nothings, buys you beautiful things and has generally got you thinking about him all the time.
Okay, enough of the Tyler Perry romance movie, let’s face reality. Are his sweet nothings truly a sign of how he feels about you or just part of his strategy to woo you, only to break your heart in the end? Yes, that’s reality.
Signs He Is Falling In Love With You
Not all that glitters is gold, and in this case, not all romantic guys are actually in love with you. It can get quite confusing to distinguish between the two, especially because some guys are professionals in the game (they literally deserve awards in heartbreakology and disappointology).
You definitely do not want to fall into the hands of such a guy because that relationship can only end one way…in tears. And believe me girl, your tears are too precious!
If you’re confused about whether the guy in your life is actually falling in love with you (whoop whoop), or he’s just playing games, not looking for anything serious, then you have come to the right place.
There really is no need to waste time with someone who doesn’t have the same plans for the future as you do or who doesn’t feel the same way. Here are 10 signs he is falling in love with your amazing self.
1. He’s honest
It’s a gift to have a trustworthy man, and it’s a plus if honesty is a product of a loving and considerate heart.
If a man is in love with you, feeding you lies will always be greater than mission impossible to him. Telling you the truth comes with ease because he would not want to hurt you or build a relationship on dishonesty with you. He’d rather swim across the Red Sea than allow scenarios that would cause him an iota of deceit. Sounds glorified? Well such is the magic that love creates.
Honesty also means telling you the truth when you do something wrong. Here, correction is usually done in love. A man who doesn’t want to keep you around for long will keep mute when you do things that aren’t right. He’d want to make everything look good until he gets you under the sheets with him.
2. He’s loyal
Even in casual human relationships, loyalty is a significant characteristic portrayed by anyone who cherishes and values you.
Although ending booty calls with other women and ignoring women who make passes at him is a way of showing he’s down for you, it does not stop there.
Loyalty is also about standing up for you both in your presence and your absence. Let me give you a quick example. He and his boys are chilling and talking about girls (yeah, besides football, that’s their favourite topic), and one of his boys makes a terrible conclusion about girls. At this point, your boyfriend states confidently that it is not always the case with all girls, especially not his girlfriend (mic drop).
This is a major sign that he’s loyal to you and sees the good in you. He’s willing to defend you even among his friends. When a man is in love with you, he won’t stand you being dishonoured. He won’t say “I didn’t know what to say.” He’d simply tell off anyone trying to make you look bad, whether you’re there or not. You or your flaws are not meant to be the topic of the guys’ night out.
3. His words will always align with his actions
As women, we often assume expressing one’s emotions is only done with words and sometimes we make the mistake of projecting that view on men.
The truth is men speak less and act more. A man who’s falling in love with you will surely show you he is. It’s true that they are very good at concealing their emotions, consciously, yes, but unconsciously? They don’t really do a great job. So watch out for the spontaneous actions.
However, you have to be careful enough not to jump into conclusions while you’re reading the stars. You don’t want to end up being friend-zoned after all your fancy speculations.
4. He’ll pay more attention to himself
When he starts paying unusual attention to his physical appearance around you, you’ve got him tripping, girl.
Be sure not to mistake a self-obsessed man with a man in love. The self-obsessed man will spend the time he’s supposed to spend with you in front of the mirror, but a man in love spends a great deal of energy and time not just with you but also in the bathroom.
Men are very much aware that ladies are fascinated by good looks and nice physique. When he’s in love with you, chances are, dressing to impress you will be a permanent task on his to do list. Don’t forget, he’s a natural competitor, he won’t allow the guy next door to score a point above him.
5. He’ll be happy
Generally, there’s this glow that comes with being in love or even just liking someone. That’s a thing he can’t hide.
When you’re together, he’ll always be at ease and genuinely happy. Even outside your company, his family and friends can tell that he’s happier. There’s nothing a man cherishes more than his happiness and peace of mind. If he’s happy with you, he’s here to stay!
6. He’ll prioritize your happiness
Okay, hold up! Before you get it all twisted, making your happiness his priority doesn’t necessarily mean putting you above every other thing. Some ladies do have that kind of notion and I’d say it’s selfish. If you’re used to that school of thought, please do away with it.
Him prioritizing your happiness simply means your happiness is equally important to him as his own is. He’ll do thoughtful things without being asked. A friend once told me, “I can’t forget the day he brought me breakfast after a thorough early morning presentation because my cramps won’t allow me to go near the kitchen.” Now that’s a man who genuinely has you in his thoughts.
7. He keeps the compliments coming in
When a man is in love with you, complimenting you, your looks or what you do isn’t tasking for him. He doesn’t find it tedious to talk about how good the pudding you made on Sunday night tasted.
It’s funny when his compliments are on things you don’t really fancy or feel special about. But hey, love works in mysterious ways, so appreciate that compliment and handle it politely and lovingly. Don’t be that girl who gets used to his compliments and keeps them aside like they don’t matter.
8. He’ll give up his time and resources
When he’s head over heels, he won’t just tell you he is or get excited about you, he will give you his treasures. His time and resources are precious to him, and if he gives them to you consistently, you own his heart!
The truth is, he will make time for what’s important to him. With a man in love, there’s no such thing as being too busy. He will make out time to see you, call you or at least text you because he can’t help it—you’re on his mind. Probably one of the more obvious signs he is falling in love with you.
When you start to hear excuses from him like “I have a lot of work to do, that’s why I didn’t call you for 3 days,” well, it might be true he had a lot of work to do, but it’s also a heads-up that he’s probably not that into you.
9. He misses you a lot when you’re away
When he is really interested in you, he will always long for your presence when you’re away. He will reach out to you when you seem distant. There’s no theoretical algorithms to that, he simply misses his woman.
If he can COMFORTABLY spend two or three days without communicating with you, unless he’s in the ER or ICU, he’s just a nice guy. Don’t catch feelings. If you already have, perhaps use the waste bin. Oh! If it’s the butterflies in your tummy, call the animal control unit, babe. It’s better to watch out for these signs early enough so you don’t have regrets later.
10. He’s balanced
He doesn’t rush through things or go on a super slow-mo with you. Someone who wants you under the sheets will always be jumpy. He probably would have exhausted at least 7 of the above mentioned characteristics after 2 weeks of knowing you. He’ll always come on strong because he wants to finish up with you on time to get on with his next prey.
A man who is second-guessing you or wants to eat his cake and have it with you will take too much time with you. If you’re three months into the relationship and he’s yet to know your second name, ask him and he’ll tell you he likes taking things slow. Hehe. Run sister!
A man who really likes you and is in love with you strikes the balance. He’s in control of his emotions and at the same time, he puts how much you mean to him into expression and actions.
So there you have it, 10 ways of knowing if he’s being swept off his feet. If you’re still not sure after this checklist, you could ask him a simple and straightforward question like, “Do you like me?” or “How do you feel about me?” Chances are, he will tell you more than a “Yes” or “No” and back it up with actions.
Make sure you avoid beating around the bush and showing your emotions when you do this, because to him, he might interpret it as coming on too strong or not being in control of your emotions, and that’s a turnoff for men.
All in all, a man who is falling in love with you will show it, not consciously, but you’ll have your suspicions. While there are no hard and fast rules, men generally exhibit most of the above mentioned characteristics when they start falling for a woman—it’s their nature.
Sure, guys are different and express love in different ways. But be sure to look out for the signs that he might be falling in love with you which are not so obvious on the surface. The factors he cannot control. These are the keys to knowing if he’s truly falling in love with you, or not.
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Note: This post first appeared on MindHerWay.com as 10 Signs He Is Falling In Love With You. It has been republished here with the author’s permission.