It’s no secret that relationships often require constant work. This includes constantly improving communication, trust and intimacy. Today we’ll be sharing some of the best ways to improve intimacy in your relationship.
Nowadays, in most long-term relationships, it’s pretty common for partners to withdraw from each other and ultimately, grow apart. This gradual withdrawal typically starts after months of being in the relationship. After all, most couples are usually on their “honeymoon” during the initial stages of the relationship.
At first, it’s all about affection, tenderness, and fondness. But then as weeks progress into months, and months progress into years, more responsibilities are taken up by the couple. They get more committed to work, ambitions or kids as the case may be. Consequently, an emotional distance is created in the relationship.
The reason most of these couples are seemingly undisturbed by the increasing emotional distance that exists in their relationship is because they conclude that since they’ve been together for so long, both of them will always be there for each other – distance or no distance.
However, this is all shades of wrong because the human mind is pretty tricky. The more emotionally disconnected partners are, the more vulnerable their relationship becomes.
So, don’t fall into that trap! You and your partner can definitely do better to improve intimacy in your relationship. And nope; I don’t mean a decoy or a pretend kind of intimacy. I mean a genuine, deep kind of intimacy.
Why Improve Intimacy In Your Relationship?
Such a connection is so important for a healthy relationship to thrive. Because in such a romantic atmosphere, you and your partner will be fully in for each other, irrespective of how busy you are with your careers or any other responsibilities.
When your relationship is intimate, your busyness won’t be a barrier to the connection you share. By now I’m sure you’re wondering how to improve intimacy in your relationship. Well, I’m sure you also know I’m about to tell you just how to do that (I mean, the title of the article gave it all away).
Adopting the tips below will not only improve the bond between you and your partner but will also ensure you are more ethical in the relationship (yep, that’s actually important too).
Besides, if you’ve been yearning to be in a healthy relationship where mutual love and understanding thrive, then this article is for you!
With that said, here are 10 practical ways to improve intimacy in your relationship:
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1. Don’t Get Too Comfortable
One reason you and your partner started growing apart in the relationship is because you both got too comfortable. You both stopped doing what you used to do before you got so used to each other.
Remember when both of you were still head over heels for each other, you went the extra mile to express how much you cared for each other. Back then, you could travel over 12 hours to see your baby… you drove from one city to the next just to visit your partner.
But since the relationship got longer and longer, the usual excitement between both of you has been on the decline. You now find it difficult to sit up from your study to welcome your partner. You now find it too tasking to kiss your partner goodbye before heading out.
It’s simple, you got too comfortable. That’s why you no longer find it important to keep doing those things you used to do before you fully committed to each other.
Maybe because you got committed you believe “commitment” is enough to hold both of you together – spoiler alert, it’s not enough. What actually holds partners together is the bond they build between themselves, the intimacy they establish between each other – that’s the most important thing.
It’s alright to be inconvenienced in the relationship, just like you were back then when you were new to each other. Being a bit uncomfortable will make you feel like you’ve got something to lose when you fail to go the extra mile for each other.
Trust me, such a mentality is what you need right now to bring back that intimacy you once shared with your partner.
2. Try Something New
If things have been boring lately between you and your partner, it’s probably because you’ve been doing the same thing for so long. You have to do something new!
If all you do is cook together at home, why not go out for dinner tonight? If you used to watch movies together at home, then this time around, you should probably visit one of the cinemas in town.
Sure, it’s good to have a daily routine at home as it simplifies your tasks by giving you a clue of what to expect every day. However, trying out something new has a way of bringing the spark back between you and your partner!
3. Remember The Good Old Memories
One sweet way to improve intimacy in your relationship is by reminiscing on good memories. There is this tender feeling that comes with remembering the lovely memories you have shared with your partner.
No matter how disconnected you’ve gotten from your other half in recent times, remembering those good memories can drive your focus away from the present negative vibe. This way, you will concentrate more on the positive side of the relationship.
By keeping up such a positive attitude, the intimacy in your relationship will soon be restored.
4. Do A Lot Together
According to experts, doing lots of activities with another person has proven to create a great bond between them – even between those that were total strangers at first.
For instance, Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio became close friends from 1997 (when they played the “Jack and Rose” role in the “Titanic” movie). Just so you know, they actually met as strangers. But the role they played together in that movie is the reason they’re still close today.
The same emotional connection can be created by partners if they can do a lot of things together, even at home.
It’s not a bad idea for partners to cook, eat, do the laundry, water the garden, declutter the house, or pray together. Heck, it’s not a terrible idea if partners decide to shower together too! Such synergy has proven to be quite useful in improving the intimacy between two people in a romantic relationship.
5. Give Credit When Due
The easiest way for partners to boost their connection is by being kind to each other. It doesn’t take much to show kindness; by giving credit, praises, and compliments, you’re simply being kind.
These little acts of kindness can go a long way to make your partner feel more valued and loved. Before you know it, the affection between both of you will improve. You can simply choose to focus on what your partner did right and thank them for that instead of concentrating on what they didn’t do.
Appreciate her for helping with a problem you had at work – remember she’s busy too but went out of her way to help. Thank him for giving you a ride to work even when he’s running late for his!
It won’t cost you anything to be appreciative… but it will cost you a lot if you are ungrateful. By appreciating your partner, you encourage them to do more… but when you don’t, you’re indirectly begging them to stop.
6. Create A Special Time For Just The Both Of You
This has got nothing to do with the usual time you spend together doing nothing worthwhile. Of course, this is a bit different. To improve intimacy in your relationship, you have to create a special time with your partner – let’s say, 30 minutes. No friends, no phones, no social media, no work – just you and your partner.
That is the time you can hold intimate talks. A perfect moment to confide in your partner or tell them whatever challenge you may have been facing lately, and maybe your plans for next week or ten years from now.
Sharing such intimate moments with your partner will easily increase the connection you share.
7. Be Vulnerable
The hard fact is that vulnerability is a very sensitive position to take. However, if you really want to improve intimacy in your relationship, the small price you have to pay is to be vulnerable.
Start by having those uncomfortable conversations you always try to avoid – that’s when you can disclose your insecurities to your partner. Tell them how you feel, what you are worried or anxious about, tell them what upsets you, reveal your fears to them, let them know your weaknesses…
Being vulnerable propels your partner to trust you more, because they understand that you trusted them enough to be vulnerable in the first place.
As a matter of fact, your relationship will be way more intimate if you and your partner can feel free to be vulnerable with each other.
8. Have A Life Outside Your Relationship
Ordinarily, your relationship should be your top priority. But if your aim is to build intimacy, then you must learn to respect the fact that you can both have a life outside the relationship.
It is only when you realize the necessity of having a life outside the relationship that you can respect your partner’s personal choices.
Of course, that makes you a better partner because that’s a healthy decision to make. When you always deny yourself your personal needs, or you always bank on your partner to satisfy your personal needs, then you are orchestrating a failed relationship!
For instance, we all crave to associate with others. That’s how we are naturally wired. And there is no way your partner can provide you with the satisfaction you get from associating with other people.
It becomes quite unbearable when you can’t have friends, just because you are in a relationship. A relationship becomes extremely toxic when partners are not free to enjoy some time with other people like; friends, extended family, colleagues, business partners, neighbors, club members, etc.
Spending time with others gives you the opportunity to have certain experiences to share with each other anyway.
9. Always Stay Connected
While it is okay to spend some time outside the relationship, you must also ensure to stay connected with your significant other throughout the day – no matter where you are.
You need to communicate with your partner as often as possible. It’s your responsibility to check on each other from time to time. Call your partner whenever you can, text them when you can’t call, ask if they’re alright wherever they are, and tell them how your day is going as well.
Adopting this habit gives both of you a sense of being loved and valued by each other. And with that, you’ll be more intimate than ever!
10. Be Supportive
The main reason why most people get into a relationship or marriage is because of the need for support – both physically and emotionally. You have to be there for your partner when they need you. If they need your help, do your best to be of help, even when it may cause you an inconvenience.
Let them understand that you’re always there for them, no matter what happens. Be their go-to person! Try to be a good listener and pay attention to their emotional needs. Always motivate them when they’re discouraged.
When your partner realizes the fact that you are emotionally and physically supportive to them, the connection will increase, and the bond between both of you will wax stronger. It’s really not rocket science!
Final Thoughts
And there you have it, relationship people! Ten real ways to get that intimacy between you and your partner back. One good thing about getting intimate with your partner is that it creates a profound sense of security within the relationship.
It enables you to be yourself without feeling the risk of jeopardizing the relationship itself.
Without intimacy, most relationships will struggle a lot, because there won’t be mutual understanding – instead, conflicts, resentments, fights, bitterness, hypersensitivity, isolation, and above all, loneliness.
In a nutshell, without intimacy, there really is no relationship.
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