There is a possibility that if you’re reading this article, then you must have been there once; you must have experienced that feeling when you miss your ex so much that you just really want them back in your life. If so, read on, we’ll share our top tips on how to get your ex back and make him want you back.
A lot of different reasons might cause breakups, but to be honest, there are times when breaking up with your partner is not necessarily the best option. In such situations, if you insist on walking away, then at some point, you’ll realize your mistake.
Are you in that situation? Do you miss your ex so much? Do you wish to get your ex back for good? Then read on to the very last word of this article because right here, you will be amazed by some useful tips that will show you how to get back your lost treasure.
How to get your ex back
Consider it a fact that you are not alone in your quest to win someone back to yourself. Over 90% of people who left a relationship or were broken up with for no particularly good reason often want their way back into it.
However, it’s not always easy. Because while you miss your ex so much, your ex might not really miss you. In fact, they might have moved on with their life. They might have decided that your chapter is closed; and probably, they’ve found themselves another partner.
But all hope is not lost! There are certain things you can do to trigger their interest, no matter how made-up their mind is. However, in all you do, you shouldn’t rush it. Appearing desperate will just be bad business in this situation.
Besides, it might interest you to know that some exes are not worth getting back, hence, before considering taking a shot at him or her again, make sure these terms are met:
- You are (or at least were) compatible with each other.
- Your breakup wasn’t because of a grievous offense like promiscuity or domestic violence.
- Your breakup was only circumstantial
- You are willing to compromise
- Your differences can be resolved
- You don’t feel any better without them
If you don’t consider these before trying to get your ex back, you might end up walking back into something terrible.
Now, let’s get to the “how”?
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1. Ascertain If They Still Care
The very first step you must take before making any further attempt to reinvent lost love is to find out if they still actually care about you.
There is definitely a possibility that your ex still has a soft spot for you. If so, then it will be a job made easy to get them back.
As a matter of fact, the most important factor (among every other) to get your ex back is that tender feeling they might still have for you.
On the other hand, if, through your investigation, you find out that your ex no longer gives a damn about you, then it’s far more honourable to stop early enough than to have all your trials be futile! No matter how it hurts, you have to find a way to get over it. With time, you might come to realise you’re better off without them!
The question you might be asking right now is how to find out if they care…
Well, there are a lot of ways you can do that.
First, you can ask the mutual friends you share with your ex. You might get a clue from them.
Another way to find out if he or she cares is to find a way to meet your ex face-to-face. Make it look like a coincidence. Then have a little chat. From that, you might know your position.
2. Give Them Some Space
This is another important move you must make in a bid to get things normal again.
Now that you’ve realised that your ex still cares about you, you have to get a little…scarce. This will make them miss you and want you even more. That’s how the human mind works generally.
Moreover, you need space too. You need time to reflect and think things through. By doing this, you’ll better understand the steps you took that never helped the relationship, then consider amending those steps.
Also, your ex needs the same space to do exactly what you did… Reflect.
I’m pretty sure you may feel that if you give them so much space, they may stop thinking about you and finally forget that you exist. However, this is a risk you must take if you must get back into the relationship and make it stronger than ever.
You both definitely need some time.
3. Communicate Less
This step is incremental to the previous step. In a bid to give your ex the much-needed space, you have to communicate less.
One funny thing that is very common with breakups is that you’ll have this intense urge to call your ex or message them all the time. Surely, you’ll miss them and it’s pretty normal to feel this way; especially if you were at fault or if the breakup was not really as a result of a serious offense.
But then, stop!
Emotions sometimes aren’t real. You can’t be completely sure you want to do this again unless you communicate less with your ex and stay away for a while.
Yep, you read that right; communicate less and stay away!
Sending those numerous texts and making those ceaseless phone calls will not actually help the relationship. You don’t want to be the desperate one, it’s a very bad position to be in, to put it mildly.
Do you want to end up in a relationship where you’ll be the underdog? Do you want to be at the perpetual mercy of your ex? Or do you want to be a chronic beggar in the relationship?
If you are okay with any of those, then continue calling…
But in reality, it will be more attractive if your ex observes you’re not so available. Your reduced communication will make them wonder what you are up to. And hence, their curiosity will drag them closer to you.
4. Don’t See It As A Competition
Listen up!
Despite the fact that you are trying to reduce communication, it should not be as a result of competition; between a loser and a winner. Rather, it should be because it’s the right thing to do to avoid being hurt again.
See it as a self-defence mechanism. Surely, nobody wants to be hurt again.
Besides, everything you’re doing is just to get your ex back for good, not necessarily for a game or a competition.
5. Don’t Be In A Hurry To Give In To Your Ex’s Demands
In a case where your ex still cares and probably misses you, chances are your ex will come around at some point.
When your ex reaches out to you, they will likely tell you the things they needed from you which you failed to do before the break-up. If that becomes the case, don’t be in a rush to yield to their demands.
Not that you won’t do it eventually (especially if it’s worth doing), but you just shouldn’t give in too soon.
Giving in to your ex’s demands too quickly will make you appear very desperate and it’s very unattractive. If you do, you might end up losing them again… After all, they’ve gotten what they want.
The tip here is, you have to react slowly to their demands, that’s if you want things to last longer this time.
6. Improve Yourself
Now that you’ve done the preliminary (but vital) things like; giving the required space, and creating a little boundary, you will be more stabilized. You’ll get stronger as a person and probably start spending a little more time with your ex.
That’s great!
But then, you still have an important task to fulfil.
Work on yourself.
Get better.
Improve!
At this point, you have to realise that you may have been hard on your ex. You’ve really spent some time on the defensive line, trying not to get hurt again.
Well, now is probably the best time to open up a bit and give it a shot once more. And the best way to do so is to improve. You have to simply be a better person. That will give your ex more reasons to get involved with you again.
Get a new haircut or hairdo, improve your looks. Also, don’t forget to work on your career and Self-development. Double your finances, grow, and become the best version of yourself.
This is not necessarily to impress your ex, but it’s necessary for you as an individual, and of course for the relationship.
7. Get Involved In Physical Activities
Yes, you also have to get physical a bit. It’s good not only for your body but for your mind as well.
Indulging in physical activities will simply make you happier as a person. As a matter of fact, experts suggest that hitting the gym, hiking, or running will release some endorphins from your brain to your body. This will make you feel great!
Endorphins have the same effect as morphine, hence, they will simply subsidize the pain you might be passing through as a result of the breakup. This is because regular exercise will help you channel your aggression or pains into something physical.
Moreover, involving physical activities will surely improve your physique. And I’m sure nobody (not even your ex) will be able to ignore your hot body!
8. Spend Time With Others
As much as I am positive that by now, you should be making some progress in getting your ex back, it is also possible that you might hit a dead end.
In that case, you have to try spending time with other people.
You don’t necessarily have to date them, just a little hang-out will do. However, ensure your ex sees you while you are having this happy moment with others. It’s a fantastic trick that could make your ex jealous. I’m sure you know that instigating a little HEALTHY jealousy can go a long way to make your ex become interested in you again?
9. Remember, You Still Have Good Friends
Yes, while trying this and that to bring back that relationship, also remember you’ve got some good friends.
This is especially if all your efforts to attract your ex have proven abortive. And probably, you’re having a long run of lonely moments and the sadness is getting unbearable.
Then, reconnect with those awesome friends of yours or even family. You will definitely feel better. Besides, if you keep worrying over your unperturbed ex, then you will likely get depressed over your HAPPY ex.
And honestly, that’s just a way to be unfair to yourself! When you reconnect with your family or friends, you will gather the momentum that will help you move on for good.
10. Is My Ex Really Worth It?
This is the question you should be asking if eventually, you’ve decided to move on. On the other hand, you should also ask this question if you have finally made a breakthrough on your quest to start all over again.
Yes, you have to ask this question particularly because you don’t want to experience a sad episode twice.
If you fail to ask this question before re-establishing the relationship, and thereafter, you discover that nothing has really changed (that the relationship is still a mess), then all your efforts would simply be a waste.
Now, let’s face this. If you find out they’re worth it after asking this question, then keep pushing. However, if you have any reason to suspect they’re not really worth the stress, it’s better to move on.
Final thoughts
All that you’ve learned so far will surely have some positive effects on your ex. However, there are two things you should do to round off:
- Talk to them; let your feelings be known, tell them you still care. In response, they will either tell you (1) They want you back too, or (2)They are no longer interested.
- Secondly, don’t force it; you’ve actually done enough. Let time decide what happens next.
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