It is an understatement to say that we only get involved in a toxic relationship once in a lifetime. The fact is, it is very easy to get involved in an unhealthy relationship. Today we’ll look at some unhealthy relationship signs so you can know what to look out for.
A lot of people who are in this type of relationship often don’t realize it until it completely destroys them. And that is the riskiest part of it!
We often believe that the toxicity is temporary and that things will eventually get better. We only realise we are fighting a lost battle when things fall apart and the relationship ends.
Now, do you feel like you are in a relationship that keeps draining “life” out of you? Are you still confused as to why you feel weird in that relationship? Then relax and follow through with this article because those unhealthy relationship signs you need to be wary of will be clearly addressed.
But before I proceed, it is important to describe what an unhealthy relationship actually is. It will give you the background knowledge needed to fully understand the problem.
Unhealthy Relationship Signs
An unhealthy relationship in this context is an existing (long-term or short-term) interaction between you and another person that makes you feel unhappy, horrible and gives you a feeling of being confined in a surge of negative emotions. Consequently, you will simply be displeased with your life.
To be honest, a toxic relationship is worse than just “bad” because a bad relationship will offer you the room to realise it on time and walk away, but a toxic relationship may not. Rather, it will give you hope where there is no hope. You only realize how nasty things have become when you have nothing left in you. By then, you’ve been completely drained!
From the description above, you can see that an unhealthy relationship can easily get you depressed. And often the next thing after depression is suicidal thoughts. And that is definitely not what you want, not now, not ever. To help clear your doubts about your relationship, here are 10 unhealthy relationship signs you shouldn’t ignore.
1. Unstable Feelings
Your emotions can’t be stable when you are in an unhealthy relationship. You simply don’t feel good for long.
You know that moment when someone is happy but all of a sudden, their mood changes? Such emotional ups and downs can make one look mentally derailed. And it’s quite exhausting when you keep playing such a love-hate game. That’s exactly what happens to you if you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship.
This unstable attitude shows that you are naturally a happy person, but whenever you remember the situation you are in, your happiness is simply disrupted.
As much as every relationship is likely to face some trying times, such sad times shouldn’t surpass the period of bliss that comes with a healthy relationship. In other words, if your relationship keeps you in a chronic period of sadness, then it’s a sign you definitely shouldn’t ignore!
2. You Feel Disrespected
Have you ever felt like your partner is overstepping their boundaries? Does it seem like your fundamental value as a human is undermined simply because you are in a relationship? Then it’s unhealthy!
In a relationship, there are certain limits to what one can do (or tolerate), it’s called mutual respect. Of course, you deserve some respect, just like your partner does. And as a matter of fact, you should not negotiate or undermine the fundamental respect you deserve.
An unhealthy relationship is synonymous with a relationship where disrespect thrives. However, most times, those elements of disrespect only prevail when you allow them. You will be a victim of the circumstances you allow for yourself if you tolerate this for too long.
That being said, if you observe that your partner is always crossing those limits, you must let them know your stance and if they insist, then you have to do the needful. It may be time to walk away, for your own good.
3. It Is Always A Fight
This is another unhealthy relationship sign you must not ignore. It’s actually one of the very obvious indicators that you are in a toxic relationship if all you do is fight.
It starts off as a communication breakage.
You hardly communicate with your partner effectively. This is because each attempt you make to convey meaningful messages results in a fight. It’s an unhealthy relationship if you never agree with your partner about anything. It’s a toxic relationship if meaningful communication is out of the question.
No matter how hard you try to sustain such a relationship, it’s only a matter of time before everything comes crashing down. And by then, you won’t feel yourself anymore.
4. You Lie About The Relationship
Any relationship that makes you lie is simply not worth it. This typically refers to when you try to hide the pains you are enduring in the relationship.
You find yourself lying about what you’re passing through, perhaps, to avoid the embarrassment it might cause you when people find out you are not respected in the relationship.
You find yourself claiming that all is fine when things actually feel like hell for you. In such a relationship, you are basically lost in self-deceit. Because you’ll keep thinking that everything will be fine, even when it’s obvious that things are getting worse.
Such an experience is simply an unhealthy relationship sign. If it’s a healthy relationship, then you’ll have nothing to hide.
5. You Feel Drained
Yes, there are certain relationships that can leave you drained. They make you feel increasingly empty. This feeling of emptiness is often attached to your emotions; all you feel is sadness, bitterness, exhaustion, used, defiled, and frustrated. As a matter of fact, nothing hurts more than this feeling.
It’s better to read about it than to have first-hand experience. It’s better to imagine it than to feel it… You know why? Because to recover from the impact of this emptiness is really difficult. However, it’s not impossible.
The best solution to this feeling is to quit on time.
Yes, it’s better to move away in one piece than to eventually do so after you’ve been broken. It’s always up to you to do what is best for you.
6. You Feel Isolated
Have you ever felt so lonely even in the midst of a crowd? A lot of things can result in this sort of loneliness. But sometimes, it might be your fault.
Let me explain better.
As you already know, humans are more comfortable with “sweet lies” than the “bitter truth”.
Now, It is possible the good friends you used to hang out with observed the type of relationship you are in and told you the bitter truth, but instead of getting out of it, you decided to run from the truth; you walked away from your sincere friends and ended up with people who told you “sweet lies”. Now, those “sweet liars” who you depended on may have also deserted you and hence, the loneliness.
This solitary situation is similar to that moment when you have lots of people who are seemingly there for you, but the moment you really need them, they’re nowhere to be found!
Do you still need to be told that this lonely situation is an unhealthy relationship sign? I think not.
7. You Feel Manipulated
Being manipulated is the next in line after you have been isolated. The loneliness that comes with isolation will make you an easy target for toxic people who want to exploit your weakness (loneliness). In that state, you’re quite vulnerable!
A toxic partner knows you feel miserable already, they know you are lonely and have no other person to run to… They know you are stuck with them with little or no option elsewhere. So, they will always play the victim and make you apologize even when they’re wrong.
Two words. Emotional blackmail.
They capitalize on the fact that you need them. Then they manipulate you and take advantage of you. You end up feeling more miserable and hopeless.
It’s simple, this kind of relationship is very dangerous. It’s poisonous! Truly, you have nothing much to lose if you walk away from such a relationship.
You only feel lonely and manipulated because you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Once you walk out of that relationship, you will realise that it’s NOT a lonely world after all. Someone out there is willing to put a smile on your face. But you may not meet such people if you remain stuck in that unhealthy relationship.
8. You Compromise ALWAYS
Compromise itself is not unhealthy. In fact, it’s very healthy. It is actually necessary in every inter-personal relationship.
Compromise gives room for respect to thrive, which is very vital for a relationship to last. But mind you; there are things that cannot be compromised on; for example, your core values and a symbol that defines you; such things can’t and shouldn’t be compromised on.
Sometimes, it might be really difficult to compromise because it’s not easy for one to adjust a certain aspect of his/her life in order to accommodate another person. But that doesn’t necessarily make it a wrong thing to do.
However, if you are in a relationship where you live in perpetual compromise – where you are the only one making all the sacrifices and adjustments – then that’s when it gets unhealthy.
Compromise in a relationship is meant to be a two-way thing. It’s mutual. It’s not one-sided.
Once it’s all about one person (at the giving end) and the other person always at the receiving end, then it’s an unhealthy relationship.
9. Your Health Keeps Depreciating
It’s an unhealthy relationship sign if your health keeps depreciating as a result of the relationship.
If this same relationship got you isolated and depressed, made you sacrifice all the time (even when it was harmful to you), made you feel manipulated, used, defiled, and disrespected, then it is also for this same relationship that your sled-worth will suffer.
Now, after all these sad experiences and feelings, do you know what’s next in line? Your health will wane. You will get physically and mentally down. You’ll lose weight. Or maybe add a lot of weight because of inactivity. You will live in chronic boredom… These are all red flags that you’re in an unhealthy relationship and you need to do something about it, fast.
10. You Are The One Always Apologizing
This is probably one of the most common unhealthy relationship signs. Are you always left at the mercy of your partner? Do they always make you beg for forgiveness even when you’re obviously not at fault? Then it’s an unhealthy relationship.
You have to bear in mind that seeking forgiveness is not wrong per se. It’s quite good actually.
But then it’s also a fact that in a relationship with two people, you shouldn’t be the only one at fault all the time. So, how come you are the only one apologising?
It simply shows that something is not right. It is an indication that one person is oppressed. And as you already know, it’s toxic!
If you find out that even the best behaviour you put up is always wrong; even to the point that you are scared of speaking (in order not to hurt your easily offended partner) then it’s unhealthy!
To conclude, I will drop some bonus questions you should also consider as red flags. The answers you provide to the questions below should help you figure out if your relationship is unhealthy:
- Do your partner’s words mismatch his actions?
- Do you trust your partner?
- Are you your partner’s priority?
- Can you rely on your partner?
- Do you still believe in yourself?
The more (or less) negative answers you get from the questions above indicate the level of toxicity in your relationship.
So, what do you do now?
Well, if you believe you are in an unhealthy relationship, then you must decide what’s best for you. The best thing to do first is to have a sincere, open talk with your partner about everything. See if they understand where you’re coming from and are willing to improve.
The both of you can work on your relationship together or get a counselor to help out. But if your partner is not willing to change and make things work, then you are free to take any decision that will be best for your well-being. Even if it means walking away and never looking back. Always remember, your mental health matters. You Matter!
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