Once we get to a certain age, we yearn to create or build a special relationship with someone we love. It even becomes our fantasy in most cases. However, not all relationships are sunshine and roses. We share our top tips for a healthy relationship that all couples should know about.
Nobody intends to be sad in a relationship. In fact, part of the reason we walk into a relationship is because of the quest for happiness, comfort, companionship, and intimacy. Unfortunately, sometimes, these needs are not met.
Starting a relationship is very common. What is uncommon, however, is building and maintaining a healthy relationship. It is the most difficult part.
Most of the time, relationships start off on a good note. At the initial stages, we always want to be around our partners, we are so sweet to each other and the love is mutual and strong. We just feel inseparable from them.
But the sad news is that many times those relationships don’t last. Breakups and divorces are pretty common nowadays… Have you ever wondered why?
It is apparently because, today, most relationships are not healthy. They are built on the foundation of high expectations and unrealistic demands. They are built on material gains and lust. That is why immediately the expectations and requirements are not met, everything collapses.
Tips For A Healthy Relationship
Often, when you see a couple having the best of times together, you might be wondering if you can ever find a partner who would give you such happiness and peace of mind.
The funny thing is that you are obviously not aware of the battles those couples fight every night because you don’t share the same bed with them. The only difference is that they were able to fight and win those wars together…and they continue winning. That’s why they are always happy.
Building a healthy relationship is very lovely and it’s a good sight to behold. But it does not just happen all of a sudden. It takes a long time, conscious effort, a lot of sacrifices, and forgiveness to set up a lasting, reliable, and healthy relationship.
Therefore, you should endeavor to relax, do your part, and let things play out as it should. This is because most of the issues we suffer in relationships are actually our own doing. We tend to be overly sensitive about everything. Consequently, we become overly judgmental and that’s how everything goes wild.
Are you looking to find yourself happy in that relationship you’ve always fantasized about? Then here are some great tips for a healthy relationship!
1. Know Your Partner And Love Them For Who They Are
While growing up, we already learned a lot of lessons about what is expected of a man or a woman and hence, as adults, we already have initial expectations of what a romantic relationship should be all about. We expect him to be a man and expect her to behave as a woman should.
As a matter of fact, it is very difficult for you to look at your spouse without trying to compare him or her with what you see on the media about what perfect couples look like… Well, that’s how we get it wrong many times!
You shouldn’t compare your partner with any other “example”. Rather, know your partner and love them for who they are.
In that moment of doubt and uncertainty, just remind yourself of the quality you saw in her that captivated you from the very start! Of course, he’s that same man you fell in love with. And she’s the same girl that brought you happiness.
Don’t easily compare him to your sister’s boyfriend or compare her to your neighbor’s wife.
When you feel hurt or embittered probably because of his/her actions, have you wondered why you expect your partner to do things differently? Are those expectations realistic to who your partner really is? Or are you just wishing him/her to start behaving like another person just to please you?
It’s good to know your partner, so that your expectations of him do not surpass who he really is. Focus on those things about him that impress you and stop laying emphasis on the few minor wrongs! By so doing, your relationship will be quite healthier.
2. Be Exactly What You Expect Him To Be
One of the best tips for a healthy relationship is to cultivate tolerance and love. This is achieved by dealing with people how you want to be dealt with.
You shouldn’t just expect to find a boyfriend that will take good care of you and love you unconditionally without willing to give that in return. Also, don’t claim you need a loyal girlfriend who will never cheat on you when you as a man are a symbol of infidelity.
Another one of the major tips for a healthy relationship (bonus!) is to expect not more than you can give. And funny enough, many people typically expect way higher than they are willing to give in to make things work.
Remember, your partner can’t do the work all alone. Building a healthy relationship is more about teamwork.
That same love, affection, care, attention, sincerity, dedication, and enthusiasm that you expect from him… Give it to him too!
3. Be Kind
Being kind is one of the easiest gifts you can offer in a relationship because it starts with the very minor things.
Why then is it difficult for many of us to extend little kindness to our partners?
Now, considering the fact that we tend to be very kind to strangers and we welcome visitors in a very hospitable manner, why can’t we do the same to those we claim we love?
When we get too familiar with our partners, perhaps because we live in the same house with them, we tend to downplay their importance, and hence, we lack simple manners and courtesy when dealing with them.
It will definitely give a big boost to your relationship if you learn to be kind in simple ways, like; helping her out in the kitchen, doing her laundry at times, helping him to knot his ties and making sure he’s in good shape before he leaves for work, surprising him with little gifts at times, etc.
Such simple acts of kindness are one of the most practical tips for a healthy relationship.
4. Don’t Harbor Things In Mind
Definitely, there will come a time when things won’t be all smooth between you and your partner.
Perhaps, he said something that didn’t go down well with you. Perhaps you think she’s hiding something from you. Or maybe you think he lied. Maybe you suspect she’s cheating on you. These incidents can cause a little downturn in your relationship, but how do you solve it?
You just have to start by speaking up. Don’t bottle things up. Don’t harbor them in your mind. If you do, it will surely cause more damage.
In most cases, It’s only when you speak up that you can really ascertain if he did it or why she did it.
Remember, you might actually be mad at your partner for the wrong reason. It may not be exactly what you think. And when you decide to keep it in your mind, you will simply be bearing grudges against an innocent person.
Before you know it, a little problem that could have been resolved by merely speaking up becomes a very complicated issue.
In whatever relationship you are (as long as you are dealing with a human being), your partner will offend you from time to time.
Some offenses might be little things that you can ignore, others you might not. So in order to be on a safer side, you just have to let go of things that are negligible and speak up when needed.
If not, you might keep bottling up till it gets to a point where you suddenly explode. Surely, you don’t want those situations in your relationship (yikes).
5. Stay Connected: Communicate Often
Whether it is a far-distance relationship or not, you still need to stay connected. And the best way to ensure this is through effective and regular communication.
A lot of experts argue that one major reason relationships end is because of poor communication. I totally agree with that notion. Some people stay as long as one week without hearing or speaking to the person they are supposedly in love with. That’s very unhealthy!
If this situation persists, it won’t be long before the relationship loses its spark.
Apart from the connection and bond that comes with regular communication, it also makes things simple and easy.
For instance; if you need help, just tell him. Are you angry with him? Tell him why. If you want her to change a particularly nasty attitude, tell her about it.
Always talk to your partner. Don’t make them find out themselves. Sometimes, it doesn’t just work!
Moreover, don’t forget to be a good listener, because if there will be effective communication, both of you must be good listeners.
6. Recognize Each Others Wants And Needs
This is one of the most important tips for a healthy relationship. Because it is only when you recognize each other’s wants that you can act to satisfy yourselves. Part of this also is to support your partner’s goal just as they support yours.
By catering to each other’s needs, you both create a balance in the form of reciprocation. Of course, you can imagine how uncomfortable it is to be in a one-sided relationship.
7. Don’t Force It!
There are times you might be trying too hard to change a situation in your relationship. Well, here is a piece of advice; stop forcing it!
Perhaps you really hurt her and you’re trying to get her to love you again the way she used to, but she is just too sad. Then don’t force it. Don’t mount unnecessary pressure in that case. It can actually worsen the whole issue.
Sometimes, giving her a little time (while showing her that you still genuinely love her) can do the magic.
8. Don’t Go To Sleep When You Are Still Mad
It’s simple. Just sort it out with him or her before you go to bed.
You might be wondering if this works… but truly, it does.
Most relationships that got to a point where both partners don’t talk to each other actually started when either of them deciding to go to bed without dealing with an issue.
If you must go to bed without resolving whatever caused your anger, then you must agree with your partner that both of you will talk about it the next day. Also, ensure your partner understands that you still love him/her even amidst your conflict.
9. Find Those Activities You Both Like And Do Them Together
This is another lovely way to create a bond that is required in a healthy relationship.
There are activities that should thrill both of you. It could be seeing movies, or maybe engaging in exercises, or hitting the gym. It could also be touring the universe together and exploring new ideas. Whatever it is, once it makes each moment fun for both of you, then do it together. It’s healthy for your relationship.
Nothing is as boring (in a relationship) as living together or sharing the same bed without sharing any hobby at all!
10. Don’t Forget To Set Your Boundaries
For a relationship to be considered healthy, there must be healthy boundaries attached.
You may be alerted at the mention of “boundary”… You may be thinking; “Why should there be boundaries when we already love each other?”
Well, well, well. Okay I don’t know why I repeated that three times, it was fun though. Anyway, it is necessary to be clear about what each of you detests most. It’s okay to let your partner know what he or she should not do if the relationship must stand. However, let your boundaries be realistic and obtainable. Let them be healthy.
For instance, it is not bad to tell your partner not to EVER cheat on you if he/she values your relationship.
Another healthy boundary is to ensure your partner understands your stance when it comes to domestic violence. You’re free to tell him that the moment he lays his hands on you, you’re done with him. It’s healthy!
Final thoughts:
Truly, falling in love is a beautiful thing.
Staying in love is lovely as well.
But the best experience ever is to build LOVE in a healthy relationship.
Related reads:
- 10 Ways To Build Trust In A Relationship
- 10 Not So Obvious Signs He Is Falling In Love With You
- 10 Tips On How To Choose The Right Man To Marry
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