Trust is a very important part of any relationship. There is really no point being with a partner you do not trust. To have a blooming and satisfying relationship with your partner, the both of you must be able to trust each other. And trust is not necessarily something that is present from the start – it can be built gradually. Today we’ll look at 10 ways to build trust in a relationship so the relationship can grow stronger.
Trusting your partner could mean being able to confide in them or knowing that they would never do certain things to you or someone else. Quite a lot of couples have trust issues with their partners at one point of the relationship or the other. It could be due to past experiences of betrayal or an unhealthy suspicion in a new relationship.
The two most common factors that lead to the brutal end of most relationships is the lack of trust or honesty. The worst part is that you can lose the trust you have spent years building in a twinkle of an eye due to a silly mistake you made.
Regardless of your past experience or what your current partner has done to you, you must build and rebuild mutual trust in your relationship, if you are looking towards having a bright future together.
To be able to trust your partner and vice versa, the both of you should have a certain level of respect and understanding for each other.
If you are looking for ways to build trust in a relationship or how to rebuild the broken trust in a relationship, then this article will walk you through the process and help you build a better relationship with your partner.
1. Let your words always match your actions
When you make a promise or commitment to get something done for your partner, make sure to pull through on your part of the deal regardless of the circumstances. It is either you don’t commit to doing anything at all or you pull through with your commitment, there is no other way around it.
Don’t suddenly go back on your words or commitment. If you eventually want to back out on a particular commitment or you know you can’t fulfill your promise due to certain circumstances, you must sit down to talk about it with your partner. Apologize for not pulling through and find a way to make up for it.
It is best not to make promises you know that you can’t keep, or fulfill. If you continue the habit of making promises and never fulfilling them, your partner may never be able to trust you with anything, regardless of the type of excuse you constantly come up with.
In fact, it is better to make a promise and fulfill beyond your partner’s expectation rather than fulfill below or not fulfill at all. Make it a habit to stay true to your words and ensure that they match your actions. This will make you a person of integrity and in turn, your partner or anyone else around you will find it easy to trust you.
2. Don’t keep secrets at any point of your relationship
How do you expect your partner to ever trust you if you are constantly keeping secrets from him or her? Whether your secrets are in the present or past, good or bad, they shouldn’t be kept for any reason. Learn to be transparent and open with your partner about everything. Don’t lie about anything intentionally or by omission.
No matter how bad your secret may seem, it is best you tell your partner about it by yourself, rather than have them find out about it from someone else because that is what would lead to a big problem. They may never be able to trust you again after that.
Also, learn to be open minded and non-judgmental towards your partner, because this will help them to easily share their deepest and darkest secrets with you without fear. Keeping secrets in a relationship can make that relationship come to an end as fast as it started and trust can never be built that way.
3. Don’t tell a third party your partner’s secret
After establishing the fact that it is important to keep no secrets from your partner, it is equally important that any secret your partner shares with you must be kept in confidence. A third party should not hear about any secret your partner shares with you. It should only be between the both of you.
When your partner knows that their secrets are safe with you, they can trust you enough to share them with you without being skeptical or afraid.
4. Establish an effective communication pattern
Communication means more than simply talking. It involves being able to listen to whoever you are having a conversation with and being able to pass the right message with your verbal or body language.
One of the very effective ways to build trust in a relationship is by establishing an effective communication pattern with your partner.
Communicate in person with your partner often, don’t rely only on technology. It will help to strengthen your bond with each other. Perhaps it would help you to understand each other’s expressions, which is very important in trying to pass the right message.
Tell your partner exactly how you feel about things, don’t just keep quiet and expect them to read your mind. Don’t be ambiguous in your conversation.
If there is a misunderstanding, then you and your partner should sit down and talk about it, instead of brooding and giving each other the silent treatment.
When your partner is talking, do well to listen and while listening, listen to understand what they mean instead of listening to reply. If you don’t understand whatever your partner said, ask them what they meant, for clarification.
When you have a misunderstanding or disagreement with your partner in public, don’t begin to talk about it in front of everyone. Wait till you get home or somewhere private before you talk about it. Talking about it publicly can be humiliating to the other person and this will ruin the communication and trust in the relationship.
5. Accept your mistakes and take responsibility for them
No human is above making mistakes, so when you make a mistake, don’t ever try to justify it or trade blame. Instead, accept that you did something wrong and apologize. A person who doesn’t accept or own up to their mistakes and constantly blames others for it, cannot be trusted at all.
When you accept your mistakes, there should be no “buts”, because this means that you are trying to justify your actions.
To build trust in a relationship, be ready to take responsibility for your actions, words, behaviors and inactions. Be honest with yourself about what led to that particular mistake and work on fixing the situation. Tender a sincere apology and do whatever you can to make amends. Don’t be too proud to ask for forgiveness from your partner and ensure that you don’t repeat the mistake again.
6. Think before you act
It is true that every human has a bit of spontaneity in them but it is important that you put adequate thought into any action you may be considering taking “spontaneously”.
Don’t be afraid to say NO when need be and when the situation at hand warrants it. You must be able to identify what you want exactly and stick to it. Don’t act before you think, think before you act.
Thinking before you act will save you from getting into trouble or unnecessary situations. And when your partner knows that you are a reasonable person who thinks before acting, they can trust you to make the right decisions and do the right thing.
7. Learn to forgive
Forgiveness is an indispensable part of any relationship, because no human is perfect. Every human being is bound to make mistakes at one point or the other no matter how diligent they may be. Trusting your partner doesn’t mean they won’t make mistakes and your partner trusting you doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes either.
When building trust in your relationship, you need to have a forgiving heart and be willing to let go of the hurt. Don’t try to use your partner’s past mistake against them or constantly remind them about it in every conversation. This will only break the trust they have in you.
Instead of throwing your partner’s mistake in their face, support them throughout the process of making their mistakes right. Accept your partner’s apology, forgive them, let go of the hurt and continue on your journey to building the trust in your relationship.
8. Don’t judge or jump into conclusions
One of the ways to build trust in a relationship is by having an open mind and not judging your partner or jumping into conclusions based on your own assumptions. Sometimes you may not understand the reason behind your partner’s action but instead of judging them or assuming things, talk it through with them and offer your support if possible.
Also, you must realize that you will have your differences and you can’t always agree on the same things no matter how alike you both are. But the least you can both do is to respect each other’s differences and support yourselves.
This step is very essential if you must learn to trust each other.
9. Stay away from cheating
Cheating on your partner can break the trust you have spent 10 years building in one split second.
Humans have the tendency of being attracted to more than one person at a time, but the fact that you are in a relationship means that you have to be faithful and do all you can to stay away from cheating on your partner. The only exception to this is if you both agreed to be in an open relationship.
If you are certain about wanting to build trust with your partner, then you must be faithful. Even if you are beginning to get bored with the relationship or you feel like things are not the way they should, then you should talk to your partner about it. The both of you should look for ways to spice things up and make things right.
If things do still not work out well after putting in all the effort, then you should consider ending the relationship instead of cheating and hurting your partner or breaking their trust.
By being honest with your partner about how you feel, this will heighten their trust and respect for you, even if you both don’t continue with the relationship. In the event you end up cheating on your partner, then you must work on rebuilding the trust your partner had for you, if you both still want to maintain the relationship.
10. Constantly work on being a better person
You must constantly work on your personal growth and development and do all you can to be a better version of yourself. It is important that you grow as an individual and as a partner in your relationship. This will help you and your partner to be better people.
Do what is right at all times and don’t compromise your values or integrity for any reason. Be truthful and honest with yourself and others. By consistently doing these things, your partner will be able to build trust in you.
Final thoughts
Finally, on your journey to building the trust in your relationship, remember that every relationship has boundaries, so learn to respect your partner’s boundaries. Always value your relationship with your partner and do not take it for granted.
Keep in mind that it takes time to build trust and you should constantly work on earning your partner’s trust. Refrain from being manipulative, don’t make threats to leave or take undue advantage of the love your partner has for you.
It won’t be difficult to build trust with your partner if the both of you respect and understand each other. Appreciate your partner for their effort and be willing to offer your help and support to them when necessary. This gives them the feeling that you have their back.
Remember that all hope is not lost and you can still get right back on track to building that trust in your relationship.
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