When it comes to marriage, choosing the right partner is the most important aspect because marriage is a lifetime commitment. You will be spending the rest of your life with that particular person that you chose to marry. I repeat, the rest of your life. With one person. So today we’ll talk about how to choose the right man to marry so you aren’t left with any regrets.
You shouldn’t be too hasty in deciding who you want to marry because if you make a mistake, you may regret the decision for the rest of your life.
As young girls, most of us already had a picture in our heads of who our ideal man should be. More often than not, he fell into the “Tall, Dark, and Handsome (and Rich)” category.
Every girl definitely wants a prince charming and a knight in shining armor. But along the line, while growing up and finally entering the dating scene, we begin to realize that the process of choosing the right man to marry is not as easy as it looks.
There will be different suitors from different classes, with different looks, and different characters, but you just have to choose the right person for you.
Let’s not forget about the pressure from family and society, especially when you are in your mid-twenties (or thirties) and there is no sign of an engagement ring on your finger. The worst part is when you choose someone whom you truly love and want to get married to, but your family opposes because the person is from a different race, tribe, class, etc.
With all these ongoing, it is absolutely okay to constantly ask yourself, how do I choose the right man to marry?
We know that choosing the right man to marry can be overwhelming and this article has been written for the sole purpose of helping you and guiding you through this important life decision.
1. Marry a man who knows you and understands you well
Understanding matters a great deal in marriage. You must have built a level of understanding with your partner before you should consider marrying him. The both of you should know each other on a very deep level. Your strengths, your weaknesses, your flaws, must all be known to each other.
You both need to connect and get to know everything and anything about yourselves. The dating stage is a very crucial stage to develop this level of understanding and connection. Maximize the use of that period!
Marry a man who would be able to differentiate between when you are angry and when you are sad, when you want to talk and when you want to be left alone.
Not a man who plays deaf ears to your feelings and ignores them.
2. Settle down with a man who truly loves you and whom you feel the same way about
Love is a very important aspect of any marriage or relationship. When you want to choose the right man to marry, you must ensure that the man truly loves you and cares about you.
Settle down with a man who would go the extra mile to see you happy. A man who would stand by you through thick and thin. Be with a man who would love and care for you both publicly and privately. A man who wants to go to bed with you at night and wake up by your side in the morning (and not just for sex).
A man who truly loves and cares about you will always respect you both privately or in public. He would never raise his hands to hit you!
Marry a man who would catch you when you fall and hold you when you are hurting or going through rough times.
The care and love shouldn’t only apply to how he feels towards you, you must also love and care about him before you consider getting married to him. Because if you marry a man who loves you but you don’t love him, then there are bound to be terrible problems eventually in the marriage.
He should see beyond your physical looks and love you regardless of how you look.
3. Marry a man who sees the best in you and brings out the best in you
Finding a man who constantly pushes you to be a better version of yourself isn’t very easy, so if you come by such a man, don’t let him go girl!
When considering the man you want to settle down with, please ensure that he is a person who always sees the best in you. He shouldn’t be a pessimist who tries to bring you down or belittle you or what you do.
He should encourage you to be better and praise you for your efforts. And he must be able to make a positive impact on your life. He should support you and whatever you set out to do for your development and happiness.
Don’t settle down with a man who is constantly intimidated by your progress or success, if he can’t be happy for your success and achievements, then he is not the one.
4. Marry a man who is your best friend and who takes you as his best friend
The best kind of marriages and relationships are the ones where the couples are each other’s best friends.
Friendship is a very important aspect of your marriage. When your man sees you as his best friend and you also see him as your best friend, then both of you will be free around each other and free to talk about anything and everything.
Marrying a man whom you consider as your best friend is so significant because both of you will have a very close bond and a better understanding of each other. The truth is love may fade, but friendship will always remain, so marry your best friend.
Marry a man with whom you wouldn’t be ashamed to show your true self or share your deepest secrets, without the fear of being criticized. He should see you as his partner, not his subordinate whom he uses to feed his ego or satisfy his needs.
5. Marry a hardworking and growth-oriented man
I don’t think I need to emphasize how important it is that you marry a man who is hardworking and growth-oriented. Someone who constantly tries to be the best at what he does and isn’t lazy.
Make sure that the man you are considering settling down with is not comfortable with being stagnant. He should know that it his mainly his duty is to provide for the family and he must not be reluctant to fulfill that duty. He should be financially stable to an extent in order to avoid living a wretched life.
If he can’t take care of himself, then it means that he wouldn’t be able to take care of a family yet, so you both should wait and work on having some financial security before considering marriage.
6. Marry a considerate man
When you are trying to choose the right man to marry, ensure that he is a considerate person. No human is perfect, we all have one aspect or the other about us that makes us flawed, so marry a man who accepts you for who you are, flaws, zits and all.
He should be proud of you and proud to be with you regardless of your flaws. He shouldn’t be quick to anger, he shouldn’t be too strict, and he should give you the room to explain yourself before coming to any conclusions.
When he is making decisions, he should put you into consideration and make sure that the decision he is taking works for both of you. He shouldn’t be a selfish person.
7. Marry a man who shares your values and beliefs
This contributes a lot to the success of marriages and relationships but it is often overlooked by couples. Being with a man who shares the same values and beliefs as you will eliminate the likelihood of conflict between the both of you based on such matters.
When considering him as your life partner, make sure that both of you are on the same page when it comes to certain important values and beliefs.
Have a conversation about such issues with him and determine what his views are.
8. Marry a man who is ready to put in an effort and make things work
When trying to choose the right man to marry, ensure that both of you are on the same page when it comes to marriage itself. Don’t give yourself false hopes when the man you are considering isn’t even thinking of getting married to you.
A man might possess all the qualities you want but in the end, you will realize that he isn’t ready to leave the bachelor’s life yet and you can’t force him to. In fact, you shouldn’t. You’re worth so much more.
Once you have established the fact that he is also ready to settle down in marriage, then you must determine if he is a person who would put an effort into making things work out well in the marriage.
He shouldn’t be the kind of man who would chicken out in the phase of difficulties. Problems are a part of life and he should be willing to help solve any problem that surfaces in the marriage with you by his side.
He should also be willing to communicate effectively with you regardless of the situation at hand and listen to you. You both should be able to have a mature conversation with each other without necessarily having to yell or fight.
9. Be with a man who makes you happy
This is basically the 9th commandment and thou shalt never compromise on this! It is essential that you choose a man who constantly makes you smile and makes you happy.
Your happiness and emotional well-being should be of utmost importance to you, therefore you shouldn’t gamble with it. Marry a man who will crack jokes with you and laugh with you. Someone you can do fun things with, someone who connects with your body, soul, and spirit.
He should be concerned about your happiness and emotional well-being. And he should be someone you constantly long to see and spend time with, not someone who you dread going back home to.
He should not be too quick to anger. I don’t need to repeat this. But I will repeat (lol). He should not be too quick to anger, and frankly, neither should you.
10. Marry a man you trust
Honesty, trust, and loyalty are very important and indispensable parts of every marriage and relationship. Ensure that the man you are considering to marry is someone you trust. He should be honest with you and loyal to you.
When you don’t trust the man you are with, not only will you lack peace of mind, but the relationship or marriage is at a very high risk of going down the drain, fast.
Final thoughts
In conclusion, the process of choosing your life partner goes beyond girlish fantasies, this is why you must take your time to make the right decision.
Don’t be in a hurry to choose Mr. Right and realize that sometimes first impressions can be deceiving. So take your time to study the man whom you are with to determine his true character (and intentions).
Don’t let anything or anyone make you rush into marrying a man that you won’t be happy with in the end. Carefully look out for red flags during the courtship period and work on correcting them. But if those red flags are beyond correction, then you shouldn’t settle down with that particular man.
Take conscious note of what he says and how he acts around other people because this will give you an insight into a part of who he truly is. Always remember that marriage is a lifetime commitment, which is why you have to take proper caution when choosing the partner to settle down with.
Related reads:
- 10 Ways To Build Trust In A Relationship
- 10 Not So Obvious Signs He Is Falling In Love With You
- 13 Best Kept Secrets Of A Happy Relationship
- 20 Cheap Date Night Ideas For A Tight Budget
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